mencari 'taman syurga' di Raudah

Raudah

Raudah, sesejuk namanya..begitu la jua sedamai hati ini. Hati terasa bagaikan terpanggil utk berada di tempat mustajab doa ini. namun bukan senang utk wanita berada berada di situ. Kami harus mengikut giliran mengikut negara. Usai solat teraweh malam kedua, kami diberi tahu raudah akan dibuka jam 12 malam. Aku dan kakak ambil keputusan untuk menyertainya. hati rasa bagaikan berdebar semasa menunggu giliran. hampir 2 jam lebih menunggu, kami di bawa ke sana. pertama kali memasuki raudah, aku mengucap salam kepada rasul dan sahabat2..Ya Allah, aku sekarang semakin hampir dengan junjungandan sahabat2..dalam keadaan bersesak2, syukur aku mendapat satu ruang di antara mimbar utk bersolat,berdoa..tak dapat digambarkan betapa sayu, bahagia dan syukur kepada ALLAH kerana berpeluang berada di taman SyurgaNYA. Kakak ku hilang entah kemana, jemaah Arab cuba mengambil ruang di depan ku ketika aku bersolat hajat hingga aku tak dapat rukuk dan sujud, namum ku anggap ini dugaan, lantas aku menunggu dalam solat sehingga dia selesai. Aku mendapat hikmah atas kesabaran ini, mungkin ALLAH mahu aku lebih lama berada di atas karpet hijau raudah. Selesai solat hajat, aku beranjak ke ruang lain di antara mimbar kerana bimbang dihalau oleh petugas..disitu aku berjaya menunaikan solat taubah, begitulah aku sering beralih pergerakan hingga selesai menunaikan solat2 dan doa..syukur, antara airmata dan doa, aku memohon agar aku dan ahli keluargaku serta mereka yg mengasihi diriku, muslimin semua berada dalam jannahMU, ya ALLAH. Dan Raudah amat istimewa kerana antara antara rumah rasul dan masjid nabawi, terdapat taman syurga yg mengalu-alu kedatangan kami..ya rasulullah, terasa malu umat mu yg berdosa ini berada di taman mu..namun, aku ingin menjadi umatmu yang mendapat syafaat darimu..beroleh jannah..dan ya rasulullah, akau amat menyayangimu...setulus hati..kasihku padamu melebihi dari kasihku sesama insan..kerana itu aku ingin kau memberi syafaat dan meminum air dr perigi al kauthar buat kami sekeluarga di akhirat kelak..dan syukur dalam masa yg singkat di madinah, aku berjaya mendapat (berada) Raudah sebanyak 4 kali. Alhamdulillah ya ALLAH..aku menempah tempat di Raudah(Syurga) utk kami sekeluarga, perkenankanlah doa hambaMU yg lemah ini..Amin..Assalamualaika ya rasulullah dan sahabat..aku rindu ucapan itu..

Madinah An Munawwarrah-sesejuk pandangan rasul....

masjid nabawi

Kami menginap di hotel Al-Tayyibah yg terletak berdekatan dgn masjid nabawi. keseronokkan yg tak terhingga bercampur dengan kegembiraan dan sayu kerana terasa baginda rasul terlalu dekat jarak dengan ku. tak sabar-sabar untuk ke sana. Sesampainya ku ke sana, aku terus menuju ke masjid untuk solat asar. Pertama kali melangkah ke dalam masjid, ayat pertama yg ku ucap..assalamualaika ya rasulullah...tak sedar air mata ku mengalir..gembira dan sayu..,bersyukur ke hadrat ALLAH kerana menjemput ku ke sini. Usai solat asar, kami pulang untuk berehat kerana keletihan dalam perjalanan,sementelah lagi bulan puasa..di hotel, hati bagai digamit untuk ke sana lagi..namun mematuhi pesanan muttawif agar kami berehat, kami mandi dan lelap seketika.. mentari hampir terbenam, kami bergegas ke masjid. Pengalaman pertama berpuasa di negara asing,aku dan kakak keliru bila tangan diheret oleh wanita Arab yg berniqab, rupanya dia ingin kami berbuka ditempatnya..menhormatinya, kami turutinya..kami di beri roti berbentuk donat besar yg dibahagi2 dan tamar serta air zam zam. setelah azan kedengaran, kami berbuka, namun..roti itu kami bahagikan pada jemaah disebelah kerana air zama-zam dan tamar mencukupi utk kami, lagipun pihak hotel menyediakan makanan buat kami. pertama kali berbuka di masijid nabawi terasa syahdu kerana hati terasa rasulullah ada bersama. Setelah selesai solat maghrib, kami ke hotel untuk makan. nasi biryani, tart badam, manisan arab dan byk makanan menyebabkan kami makan dgn selera..selesai makan, kami ke masjid untuk solat isya' dan taraweh dan witir...linangan air mata mengiringi solatku apatah lagi mendengar bacaan imam..hati rasa amat bahagia...namun akibat kekenyangan menyebabkan badan rasa agak mengah..dan aku bertekad tak mahu makan banyak lagi..sebaliknya..kami berniat utk hanya menyimpan makanan dan memakan selesai teraweh..solat teraweh hari pertama 1 ramadan 2009 dimasjid nabawi akan tersemat di sanubari selama-lamanya..syukur ya ALLAH..hadiah yg paling berharga dari seorang kakak kepada ku dan tidur pertama di 1 ramadan di Madinah , amat bermakna kerana terasa baginda rasul ada bersama..

puisi

Sehingga Luruhnya Hatiku

Tuhan, di saat dia mahuku berpaling dariMU,
Tika dia memberi kata putus antara dia dan MU,
Tasik hati bisa berkocak goyah..
Antara yang HAK dan BENAR.
Ku temui jawapan dalam sendu..pilu..
Sehingga luruhnya hatiku, Ya ALLAH.. Tuhanku
Aku akan tetap memilih mencintaiMU,
Tanpa mengira batas waktu yang memisahkan kita berdua..

3 Angels

3 angels in action

This is the best name to give to my group, 3 angels, even though we are not as beautiful as angels. We were in a same university when we pursued our first degree but we were not very close..when we met, we were only exchanging smiles..ironically when both of us met in our MA class, we became very close friends. We put ourselves in same group. First, all of us felt so intimidated and belittle as most our course mates were lectures and overseas university leavers. We? only primary school teachers who were too ambitious to make self betterment in life. But, we kept on whispering to ourselves that we were here not to compete or challenge each other, so we adjusted ourselves according to our own pace and rhythm..and luckily our course mates were very supportive and built a rapport relationship with us. But as for me, sheela and ju, we stick together as one. I still remember when my youngest son was admitted and having minor surgery, both of them came to hospital to finish our group assignment, We managed to get permission from the hospital admins to have a suitable spot to discuss and finished our work as we didnt like to procrastinate work. Their love, support and concern make me proud to have them as my very best friends. A tribute to my beloved Johaini and Susheela..You are always in my heart.

My soul and my inspiration

Dear my precious gems,

The only reason that make me furthering my study is my kids. Despite of professional development, my other intention is to provide a better life for us and also a great motivation for my precious gems(my kids) to purse higher achievement in life. I want them to make me as their role model for their self betterment. They could see me struggling for my studies as it is not easy for me to cope with things around me(work, extra odd jobs, family and study) . they often be with me late hours at night finishing my course work and schoolwork. Maybe they just be there sleeping in the living room as they don't want their mother to be alone and apparently they tend to forget their comfy mattresses just to be with me. my beloved eldest daughter, ainnur, thanks for helping me to run some house chores when ummi is busy, my elder son, ammier, thanks for make me a proud mother and for listening to my advice..tending me whenever i need you, my youngest son aiman..thanks for always giving me a BIG hug when i tense up..and for being the most adorable one and I am always proud of you my gems..thanks for being so understanding.. most of all, thanks for loving me...My only hope that all of you will success in life here and after life...my prayer is..may all of you become righteous children of mine..ameen..and Ummi loves you so much...

sign with love,
ummi

my konvo

My convocation

Merrily,merrily, merrily.... Life is but a dream...
Often people say that there are many great unforgettable memories happen in one's life...
So do I, this moment is one of the happiest moment that worth remembered, my convo..
On 31st october 2010, i received my M.A in Applied Linguistics, after nearly 2 years of struggles
In pain, sleepless nights,work, family and assignments...I nearly gave up..
Bot my patience and hardship is repaid, it is a redemption for me.
Million thanks to my mum and dad who helped me to look after my gems while i was in class,
my sister, beloved Azizah who financed my studies, my gems for being so understanding and didnt create many fuss when I was busy, my brother, beloved Azizi who topped up my needs when there was insufficiency.,my other brother, Azlan who always support me in every way and became my transporter during the convo, my other brother Azhar who motivated me, and my eldest brother who kept reminding me not to neglect my kids needs and attention..and to all my relatives and friends who never ending gave me moral supports..
Fore and foremost, I thank ALLAH for making my dream come true..I am glad I am ME...